How I deal with a crisis.

As a few of my friends and family members already know I have been battling with Anxiety & Depression for over eight years, through this period of time I have done counselling multiple times, have had cognitive behavior therapy and been placed on medication.

I find that my mental health goes through phases and “waves” as I like to refer to them. I can have months of feeling a certain way, sometimes good, other times bad, sometimes it lasts days, sometimes it feels like years. I have been taught many coping mechanisms through my counselling and my own personal experiences. To this day, with medication and being fully aware I still find myself struggling, like I am being dragged under water, my nose being inches from the surface, my mouth submerged so I can’t scream for help.

It is terrifying, even knowing full well that it is anxiety causing the feeling, nothing feels more real than a crisis. Standing there, people surrounding you, yet nobody can even begin to imagine how you feel. You can’t explain what you’re going through, you look fine on the outside but the reality is – it feels like you’re dying. You can’t ask for help because you’re underwater. All you can do is hold on and push through the pain, the burning, near fiery chest, the pushing from each side of your head and the overwhelming sense of impending doom.

Recently I have had a major setback, up to seven attacks a day. Completely unprovoked, taking no prisoners. They’ve been more terrifying, traumatizing almost, and symptoms I have never had before. I find myself being forced to cope with them, I’ve compiled a list of the best methods for me, and I’m sharing them with you in the hope I can help at least someone if they are ever facing a crisis.


  1. Remove myself from the physical environment, be it going outside/ into another room or just opening a window and sticking my head outside.
  2. Breathing in for 4, holding for 7 and breathing out for 8. I read in an article about oxygen distribution that this method is used by people with chronic breathing problems and has been and is used for people suffering with anxiety, panic and stress disorder.
  3. Using Kalms and Rescue Remedy immediate action herbal tablets.
  4. Putting my hand on my chest and feeling my heartbeat.
  5. Listening to calming, instrumental music.
  6. Drinking plenty of water.
  7. Lying down.
  8. Sitting with my hand on my knees and my head looking at my feet.
  9. Asking someone who is aware of my situation to distract me and talk to me about anything and everything that isn’t in the moment.
  10. Focusing on five static things around me, noting the detail and intricacy of them, the colour, how they would feel, the sound they would make.

I find these techniques often help me regain control of my emotional state when I am facing an attack or crisis, and most of these can be done on your own. If you ever feel out of control, like we all do sometimes, you’re better off calling someone, anyone who knows you and you feel safe to talk to. Admitting that we need help can be the most difficult thing, and that’s okay.

current 2017 favourites!

Currently I only have a few must have pieces of make up, though they’re all pretty pricey, I can promise you they are complete gems to have in your collection! From Clinique to Christian Dior, these few beauties I can’t live without.

First up is my all time favorite, couldn’t make it through the day without, lipstick & liner. From Mac we have their lip pencil in whirl, and the famous Velvet Teddy lipstick, with this combination suiting all colours and all lips, you really can’t get any better!

Next we have Cliniques pep-start hydrorush moisturizer with SPF 20. With this great SPF comes a brilliant primer and fantastic moisture sealing cream. I use this religiously, and with super sensitive skin, it caters to all my needs.

Definitely a splurge the next one but for nights out with harsh flash photography, this product ensures minimal shine and a long, airbrushed finish. It is Christian Diors Diorskin forever in 010 Ivory. With a maximum pore-refining effect this one is easily a favourite.

Another Clinique product and definitely a treat is their anti-blemish solutions clinical clearing gel. With frequent breakouts this spot-apply solution is harsh enough to minimize nasty spots without attacking and drying out my skin. I use this alongside my pep-start hydrorush moisturizer in the morning.

Finally is my current favourite highlighter, the Urban Decay Naked Illuminated shimmering powder for face and body. As well as it being an absolutely stunning highlight, you can also mix this with your Urban Decay setting spray for all over glam and use it as a body shimmer!

Let me know what your current make up favorites are, I’d love to hear!

living with anxiety

I’m sick and tired of seeing people glamorizing anxiety, not just anxiety but depression, eating disorders, OCD, autism, ADHD etc. We live in a time where talking about mental illness is taboo and people would rather pretend they don’t exist than accept the fact that a lot of the people around them are affected by them. I’ll give you some statistics:

(taken from

  • One in every four people in the UK are dealing with some kind of mental health problem
  • About a quarter of the population will experience some kind of mental health problem in the course of a year, with mixed anxiety and depression the most common mental disorder in Britain
  • Women are more likely to have been treated for a mental health problem than men and about ten percent of children have a mental health problem at any one time
  • Depression affects 1 in 5 older people
  • Suicides rates show that British men are three times as likely to die by suicide than British women and self-harm statistics for the UK show one of the highest rates in Europe: 400 per 100,000 population

These are scary percentages. Look around you, at your family, lets say you and your mother, your father and your younger brother are sat in a room together. One of you knowingly or unknowingly has a mental health problem, and if it isn’t you, it’s one of your loved ones. It’s scary, and it’s not nice to think about.

I would personally like to say that as a society I think we need to open up more and listen to each other. Just because you cannot see an illness does not mean it is not there. I barely graduated from college having missed big chunks of it due to anxiety.

don’t normally talk about it out loud for fear of being ridiculed and told to get over it but I am not lying when I say at my worst, I physically could not get out of bed. Some days I would be led in bed with my eyes closed, willing myself to get out of bed, but I could not do it. What if I can’t find my purse? What can I wear? What if I have a heart attack? What if I’m ill? What if we have a test? What if I get kicked out for missing so much time? What if I trip and fall unconscious? What if I choke on my food? What if I forget to breathe? I’m sure to some people these might seem silly but these are genuine questions I wrote down in a diary I kept on the really bad days.

Just thinking subconsciously, “Do they like me? They think I’m ugly. I am ugly. Why does nobody like me? Is it my fault? It’s my fault.” I would be so wound up worrying about everything that I would begin hyperventilating and that’s when panic attacks start. I won’t go too far into the details of panic attacks apart from saying that with a tight chest, a racing pulse, tingly finger tips, a spinning room, nausea and profuse sweating, they can be mistaken for a heart attack, very easily. From the onlookers perspective to the victims, they have all the same symptoms/ feelings. I have gained a lot of control over my anxiety with professional help, but in all honesty, it doesn’t ever really go away, you just learn to live with it.

It is very important that we bring more light to mental health, and just a reminder that if you ever feel like you need help, it is always  available!

The link below will take you to a page on the NHS full of mental health illness helplines. From young children to older women and men, help is there if you need it.



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